I've got you under my skin

Indiana native Cole Porter wrote many timeless songs that remain classic standards today.  The one that comes to my mind right now (and repeats and repeats in my ear) is "I've Got You Under My Skin."  I know it's about a love-struck person wooing their chosen lover, but today it hits me with a different meaning.

Some things have happened recently to reinforce in me the amount of bullying that goes on in this world.  Not just kids in school, although I've seen that be traumatic to an individual, but adults who supposedly know better, too.

It all came to light in my head when I found the obituary of a schoolmate who died all to early in life.  A lovely person, this individual was perceived as different and therefore fair game for those who esteemed themselves as more prestigious.  The years I spent in school with this person couldn't have been easy for them and I am filled with guilt that I never stood up and demanded that it stop.

But peer pressure is peer pressure, no matter what guise it takes.  It was more than likely peer pressure that kept me from speaking up all those years ago.  If I exposed myself by coming to their aid, I became vulnerable.

It's the same game even today, in our supposedly all-tolerant 21st Century society.  Come on, the leaders urge!  Speak out about what you think, see, feel, find as your orientation in whatever way.  We'll all love you for you, not for some cookie-cutter preconception.

I'm here to tell you it's not working out in line with that accepting ideology.  We are consumed, each and every one of us - remember, Mother Teresa's gone now - with our own set of bias and prejudices.  I'm not just talking race or religion; I'm talking things as petty as putting someone down for achieving their dream, finding their voice, speaking out in whatever their way is.

"Don't hide your light under a bushel," is an adage we've all been prodded to mind.  But I see too many times that the person who does speak out, who shows what they're made of, who stands up and screams, "Here I am!" is not wanted in our society today.  Once again, it's back to vulnerability, to letting people get under your skin.  Are you prepared to stand tall, spread the wings that you've been given and fly?  Or are you going to be bullied by those who seem to take delight in getting off some good shots at your expense?

I can't begin to name how many people in my lifetime I've encountered who poke their head out and shine their light only to find that the world is like the old arcade game of Whack-a-Mole, where you are pounded right back inside.  Will we ever know the gifts to humanity that lie unseen and unspoken because of some bully who snatched away a fragile soul, however figuratively?

Trust me, I know.  I have a personal battle with my own demons every hour of every day.  But then I am supported and loved and encouraged and come tentatively out of that mole-hole only to find that the bullies are still under my skin.  Doesn't matter what level of one's life this is on, it's still painful.  I also know that I am far from the only person in the world - or my own orbit - who feels this way.

Be careful what you say and how you say it.  Back in the 1960's we were told to "let it all hang out," but that's obviously not appropriate because simple human consideration sometimes flees out the nearest exit.

Cole Porter continues, "Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?  Use your mentality, wake up to reality."

That's just how it feels out there sometimes.  Do I shine, baby, shine, or do I slink back under the crust of the earth?  You can make all the difference in how you treat people.